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this is the pita of monosyllabic. |
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me |
children run away from the gang with the candy... I just bought a used copy of the Frogs' My Daughter The Broad today, the album with such Top 40 hits as "Children Run Away (The Man With The Candy)", "I'm Evil, Jack", and "Grandma Sitting In The Corner With A Penis In Her Hand Going 'No, No, No, No, No'". So that's where that reference is from. Anyway, check out Ryan Gangcandy's adventures in finding a Silicon Valley job that doesn't suck the soul from your marrow. Ha! Good luck with that! Oh yeah, and my submission to gangcandy's 5 songs feature is up there now too. I swear, this isn't about me. Although it wouldn't be so bad if it was. Being a character in a Carl Steadman article is probably a good way to meet chicks. "So, do you actually know Carl?" "Hm, what? Oh, yeah, sure, me and Carl go way back..." "Cool! Do you think you could introduce me to him sometime? I think he's soooo dreamy!" Okay, maybe not. Pictures of old abandoned stuff out in the desert. I've never read Kerouac, but I understand the romanticism of driving through the middle of nowhere and seeing the effects of entropy on the things people leave out there (cars, mobile homes, gas stations). So does Troy Paiva, only he brings his camera with him when he goes. It means "pretty" in Tagalog. Or so I'm told. My first piece of monosyllabic fan mail (that didn't come from someone I already knew) came from maganda.org, so I am indebted to her for letting me know that, yes, there are random people out there who type "www.monosyllabic.com" into their browsers, just to see what kind of person would register a domain name like that. The Onion is brilliant but of course you KNEW THAT ALREADY! A web/music geek's wet dream? Possibly. Spun.com might be the best online used-cd store in existence. I say "might" because I haven't successfully completed a transaction with them yet. In theory, the site is unstoppable: their design is kick-ass, they have a great selection, they give you a ton of credit for your used CDs, and they even provide a postage-paid box to send your CDs in to them. However, it's been nearly two weeks since my first order and I've only received one of the three CDs I ordered. I'm assuming the other two CDs are on backorder, but I don't know because they haven't emailed me about it. Rule number one of online businesses: always let the customer know what the fuck's going on. Regardless, you should check out the site if you're an indie-rock freak like me. For God's sake do not click on this link. I'm serious. You shouldn't go to this website. You shouldn't download the trailer. If you're in a movie theater and they show the trailer, you should scrunch your eyes shut and put your fingers in your ears and sing Stereolab songs to yourself until it's over. When an ad for it comes on TV, you should change the channel as quickly as possible and/or run from the room screaming. You shouldn't read any reviews of it. You shouldn't know anything about Being John Malkovich until you sit your ass down in the theater come October 29th. How do I know? I've seen too much, and I regret it. Trust me, the less you know about it, the better it's going to be. The fun, easy way to burn all your hair off. I keep meaning to try this on some 4th of July weekend, except that most counties in California frown upon fireworks of any kind, let alone setups that produce huge balls of fire. Luckily, I know the right bunch of drunken pyromaniacs who would be willing to help me. Fluble. Fluble fluble. Fluble fluble fluble. What have I been up to lately? Well, besides downloading my entire bookmark file into my pita's sidebars, I've been reading Fluble, the funniest online comic strip ever trapped inside the ugliest web page ever. It takes the most mundane of premises-- a frog, his blobulous friends, the woman he loves, and the hordes of evil penguins that torment him at every turn-- and turns it into pure comedy gold. Like all good things, it turns my brain into pudding. You'd better watch out, cuz tha 'Fork iz gonna throw down. Pita entry numero dos: naturally, I also gotta hype the website I "work" for, Pitchfork Internet Media and World Domination Enterprises. Pitchfork's philosophy is simple: four record reviews every weekday, and some of the finest music criticism this side of Norman Fucking Mailer. That is, if Norman Mailer wrote record reviews.
Ryan Schreiber, the guy who runs Pitchfork, is currently slaving over a site redesign and the introduction of new sections to the site: daily news (already up and going strong), interviews (plus a revived archive), and possibly articles and columns. Then again, Ryan's a slacker with a computer that keeps breaking, so who knows when all this is going to happen for Pitchfork. Regardless, if the rock is your thing, stay tuned. |